Cinese Products!

A Chinese man married an African woman and had a child. Two months later the child passed away.

At the funeral house, the African woman kept crying and saying, "I KNEW IT !!! I KNEW IT !!!"

A family member pulled her aside and asked, "What did you know?"
She replied, "That, Chinese products don't last long!!!"

Funny 2- liners

If the loser smiles after losing the game, the winner loses the thrill of his victory!!!
That's the power of Smile !!!

Behind every Successful Man there is a Woman....
Because Women don't run behind Unsuccessful Men!!!

'Sympathy'... You can get from Anybody.
But... 'Jealousy'.... You have to Earn it!!!

Drink 5 cups of milk and try to push the wall.
And then drink 5 cups of alcohol and watch... It'll move on its own!!!

Only 3 living beings are immune to cold on earth:
1. Polar bears
2. Penguins
3. Females wearing sleeveless & backless at marriages in India !!!

Salary Say Special

9.00 AM: Beep... Beep...
Msg received... Salary credited to your account.
Me: Yipeeee...

9.01 AM: Beep... Beep...
Home EMI auto debited...

9.02 AM: Beep... Beep...
Car loan EMI auto debited...

9.03 AM: Beep... Beep...
Credit card bill auto debited...

9.04 AM: Beep... Beep...
Phone bill auto debited...

9.05 AM: Beep... Beep...
Electricity bill auto debited...

9.06 AM: Beep... Beep...
LIC EMI auto debited...

9.07 AM: Beep... Beep...
Medical insurance EMI debited...

9.08 AM: Beep... Beep...
SIP EMI debited...

9.09 AM: Beep... Beep...
Your account balance: ?

Complete and Finished....

No dictionary has ever been able to define the difference between 'Complete' and 'Finished.' However, in a linguistic conference, held in London England, and attended by some of the best linguists in the world, Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese, was the clever winner. His final challenge was this.

Some say there is no difference between 'Complete' and 'Finished.' Please explain the difference in a way that is easy to understand.

His response was: When you marry the right woman, you are 'Complete.'

If you marry the wrong woman, you are 'Finished.'

And, when the right woman catches you with the wrong woman, you are 'Completely Finished.'

His answer received a five minute standing ovation.

Educated vs Uneducated

A visitor to the capital approached a man at a bus stand and asked, "Sir, will this bus go to Connaught Place?"

"Ya," replied the man.

Not understanding what the word meant he asked another who likewise replied, "Ya."

So did the third and the fourth man. Then he approached Santa and asked the same question.

He replied, "Yes sir, it does."

The visitor further asked, "What does 'Ya' mean? Why did you reply '"Yes sir'?"

"Sir Ji, an educated person always says 'Yes Sir'. Only the uneducated say 'Ya'," replied Santa.

"Are you an educated person?" "Ya."